Short Story: My Only Regret

            I stood there paralyzed by the repercussions that had only begun to unfold.  My clammy hands could not stop shaking.  The sound of my short shallow breaths became inaudible as my mind tried to comprehend what I had done.  My vision became blurred.  Different colors began to bleed into each other hemorrhaging through the very fabric of existence. 

 I could feel the weight of every bone, every muscle, every thought.   I was imprisoned in my flesh with liberation existing behind the veil of reality.  If I could just detach myself from this physical world and escape the rules of cause and effect.  If could just change my decision, a decision I did not willfully make, I could continue to live out my petty existence.  Why must I be blamed for the mistakes that fate has made?  How can my actions be judged and my destiny determined when my freewill was hacked from my being? 

Cold air filled my lungs.  Every breath was an agonizing testament of my endurance.  Physical pain mattered little as I realized I was now placed on a predetermined path.  No longer would I be able to indulge my apathetic cravings.  I now envied the man who passively went through life not realizing the great gift and curse that freewill really was. 

I wondered what had brought about such rashness.  I had always prided myself on my meticulous ability to make a decision.  I always weighed every option and hypothesized every possible outcome.  There was never a moment when I wasn’t in control. 

I could hear the fates laughing at me as I realized any resistance to my new path was delusive.  Their soft voices allowed their laughter to trap me in a canopy of despair.  There I stood for all to see, the man, the fool fate had chosen to make an example of.  The Moirai sung a melancholic song to comfort my wretched soul and then laughed as I began to feel soothed. 

I stand here now regaining control of my physical form, remembering what I regret.  I was lucky to have lived this long mostly content but now I can join the rest of the world in a disheartened existence.   I will  forever be changed and always regret accidentally disliking my favorite song on Pandora.